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I am Tony Soprano, I make you a nice-a pizza

Earlier today I finished editing the manuscript to conform to the style and layout requirements of the publisher. When I converted it to PDF and browsed through it, it actually looked pretty good. It's funny how little things and adjustments in placements can make a huge difference how good something looks like. But so it is in most aspects of life. The only thing left to do now is wait for the proofreader. Fortunately, as I was editing the paragraphs so that codewords were not hyphenated and split to two lines, I found several little typos and errors. They say there is always one more bug in every computer program, but this is an even bigger truism in book writing.

After all this hard and back-breaking work, it is good to relax by watching TV. All peppy sitcom entertainment of this season seems to have disappeared, for example, "Hot Properties", leaving me with a serious lack of scripted entertainment. There is "America's Funniest Videos", which I actually have difficulties watching, since it turns my stomach upside down, but I bravely endure it since the experience is so surreal. Every episode features probably a dozen clips where some guy is only an inch or a split second away from dying or becoming a paraplegic, but walks away because of sheer luck, apparently not even realizing how close it was. And this is shown as popular entertainment.

My wife watches Amazing Race and The Apprentice, and I only catch occasional snippets here and there while I am walking between the den and kitchen. She told me that she would one day like to compete in Amazing Race, but not with me. I agreed wholeheartedly. We have such a good and happy marriage that there is no point ruining it.

I have been watching The Sopranos reruns that the Movie Network has been playing daily to gear up for season six starting March 12. My wife doesn't watch the show, but she has seen enough random snippets to know the characters and has a vague familiarity with the major plot developments. The earlier seasons of the show were even better than I remembered and the show gets better with repeated viewing. The only problem with this show is that it always tends to make me hungry. Those mob figures sure know how to eat well, which is actually the most realistic part of this show, based on what I have read in books about organized crime. But the trick to avoid giving up to gluttony is to brush your teeth early in the evening so that you don't start snacking and gaining weight. (It's called self-control, try it some time, fatties.) Besides, no food tastes as good as being thin feels like, to paraphrase my favourite Weight Watchers feelgood slogan.

I actually felt a bit like some kind of a TV show character today. This morning, my wife gave me the task of going to Bulk Barn and picking up some flax seeds. I swear she just makes up these products that I have never even heard of just to confuse me. Well, of course when I went to that store after first going to library to pick up the three Monty Python DVD's that we had reserved, I realized that I had left the shopping list at home. But suddenly it was like a thought balloon had popped up above my head and my wife was in it, giving me the instructions. I smiled, nodded and started looking for flax, but when I browsed through the bins and spent some time laughing at "dillweed" and "cumin", I realized that I had forgotten what I was supposed to get. My short-term memory is so very fickle. Fortunately, as I came to the flax bin, I remembered what I was supposed to get.

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