Fong! Gong! Self-made!
Australia
is full of all kinds of friendly and harmless animals that happily play
along with humans just like in some Disney movie. Not. I just learned
about an animal called a cassowary,
a man-sized bird that if somebody had claimed that such an animal
exists, I would have assumed that he was pulling my leg. They should
make a B-horror movie about this animal, perhaps somehow mutated and
escaped from the zoo.
Speaking of movies, in addition to the disappointing Star Wars Episode III, we have watched a few other movies recently. I simply have to start listing these movies from "Sleepover Nightmare", a horror movie with a somewhat strange name since the movie is neither about a sleepover or a nightmare. In this movie, a group of teens go to drink and party and jump on a trampoline in a secluded house in the middle of the forest, and an escaped mental patient stalks and kills them one at the time. Stick to the basics, I guess. I only had to watch this movie for about five minutes to guess that it must be a Canadian production, although even this is perhaps too generous, since this movie is basically the result of the outing of some local hobbyist theater (go on, just go see on the IMDB page how many other movies these budding thespians have been in) who have bought a digital video camera and rented a cabin for a weekend.
I'm not saying that this movie wouldn't be hilarious to watch while drunk, with its must-be-seen-to-be-believed high-energy automobile stunts and everything. The actresses are also much more realistic and down-to-Earth than those typically seen in American productions, as they had a kind of a cute girl-next-door feel. I missed some parts of the movie, but as far as I could tell, none of the girls did any tits-out. Bummer. The crew did have an underwater camera, though, which was put in good use in many swimming pool scenes. There were also a few adult figures in the movie, for example cops, mental hospital nurses and even Groundskeeper Willie, and these guys were even more delightfully Canadian than the teenage gang. It was almost as if I had been watching The Littlest Hobo. None of them did eat any timbits, though.
Saturday night is always time for the Asian movie of the week in the local multicultural channel Omni. We watch these movies religiously, since the Asian people have such interesting view about cause and effect and storytelling. These movies are in their best when there are some kind of magic and superpowers involved, such as in the movie "Bug Me Not", which was more enjoyable to watch than about 99% of normal movies. The horror movie "Home Sweet Home" was basically a ripoff of The Ring and Grudge and whatever others you have in that mold, when the ghost of a displaced squatter haunts a modern luxury condominium and snatches the kid of a couple who have just moved in to their new dream home. The new Asian middle class, beware!
I have heard of chess boxing, so I guess that "Kung Fu Mah Jongg 2" must be the Asian version of this lateral thinking sport. Actually, it wasn't, but it was about mah jong players with some wuxia-style kung fu skills. During the commercial breaks (in which Wal-Mart tried to sell stuff to little old Chinese ladies who like to play mahjong with their friends), I ran to the den to study Wikipedia to learn more about the interesting-looking game of mahjong so that I could better understand what the characters are doing and learn the lingo. This is the way that movies should be, entertaining and educating me at the same time, in the best "edutainment" spirit.
I have noticed that in the modern Chinese and Hong Kong movies, the lead actresses don't really lose to their Western counterparts in looks or hotness. With a population that large, I guess the producers have a wide range of actresses to choose from. Certain aspects of female attractiveness seem to be relatively universal, though. Not that this would tell anything about anything, of course. If we assume that the attractiveness templates vary widely through the cultures and individual men, it's pretty amazing that the moviemakers consistently manage to cast lead actresses who I find sexy. And not just in Hollywood, but in totally different cultures too. I must be, like, their target audience, or something.
We should perhaps similarly watch a few modern Bollywood movies, just for the experience. I do like Indian food, so I would like their movies too, right? The local chain movie theater at the mall actually plays new Indian movies along with the standard Hollywood fare, so apparently there are enough Indian immigrants around here for this to be profitable. I don't know if their movie posters are made separately for the western audiences, but they do seem quite similar to Hollywood in spirit and style, so maybe these are not like the Bollywood productions from the seventies. Perhaps there is now a whole new generation of directors and moviemakers working in Bollywood who grew up watching bootleg videos of Hollywood movies, and learned their storytelling and other techniques from there. Perhaps there is even some Bollywood version of Quentin Tarantino, a young and edgy visionary whose breakthrough film, an action drama about a cool gang of bank robbers, revolutionized Bollywood moviemaking since it didn't even feature a single musical number. Maybe we might soon even get to see the hero and heroine kissing onscreen, but the first tits-out might take a while to arrive.
"Deuce Bigalow --- European Gigolo" was pretty much what I expected, although not as funny. I did wonder why the hilarious female client from Chernobyl who had a penis for a nose never appeared in the trailer, though.
Speaking of movies, in addition to the disappointing Star Wars Episode III, we have watched a few other movies recently. I simply have to start listing these movies from "Sleepover Nightmare", a horror movie with a somewhat strange name since the movie is neither about a sleepover or a nightmare. In this movie, a group of teens go to drink and party and jump on a trampoline in a secluded house in the middle of the forest, and an escaped mental patient stalks and kills them one at the time. Stick to the basics, I guess. I only had to watch this movie for about five minutes to guess that it must be a Canadian production, although even this is perhaps too generous, since this movie is basically the result of the outing of some local hobbyist theater (go on, just go see on the IMDB page how many other movies these budding thespians have been in) who have bought a digital video camera and rented a cabin for a weekend.
I'm not saying that this movie wouldn't be hilarious to watch while drunk, with its must-be-seen-to-be-believed high-energy automobile stunts and everything. The actresses are also much more realistic and down-to-Earth than those typically seen in American productions, as they had a kind of a cute girl-next-door feel. I missed some parts of the movie, but as far as I could tell, none of the girls did any tits-out. Bummer. The crew did have an underwater camera, though, which was put in good use in many swimming pool scenes. There were also a few adult figures in the movie, for example cops, mental hospital nurses and even Groundskeeper Willie, and these guys were even more delightfully Canadian than the teenage gang. It was almost as if I had been watching The Littlest Hobo. None of them did eat any timbits, though.
Saturday night is always time for the Asian movie of the week in the local multicultural channel Omni. We watch these movies religiously, since the Asian people have such interesting view about cause and effect and storytelling. These movies are in their best when there are some kind of magic and superpowers involved, such as in the movie "Bug Me Not", which was more enjoyable to watch than about 99% of normal movies. The horror movie "Home Sweet Home" was basically a ripoff of The Ring and Grudge and whatever others you have in that mold, when the ghost of a displaced squatter haunts a modern luxury condominium and snatches the kid of a couple who have just moved in to their new dream home. The new Asian middle class, beware!
I have heard of chess boxing, so I guess that "Kung Fu Mah Jongg 2" must be the Asian version of this lateral thinking sport. Actually, it wasn't, but it was about mah jong players with some wuxia-style kung fu skills. During the commercial breaks (in which Wal-Mart tried to sell stuff to little old Chinese ladies who like to play mahjong with their friends), I ran to the den to study Wikipedia to learn more about the interesting-looking game of mahjong so that I could better understand what the characters are doing and learn the lingo. This is the way that movies should be, entertaining and educating me at the same time, in the best "edutainment" spirit.
I have noticed that in the modern Chinese and Hong Kong movies, the lead actresses don't really lose to their Western counterparts in looks or hotness. With a population that large, I guess the producers have a wide range of actresses to choose from. Certain aspects of female attractiveness seem to be relatively universal, though. Not that this would tell anything about anything, of course. If we assume that the attractiveness templates vary widely through the cultures and individual men, it's pretty amazing that the moviemakers consistently manage to cast lead actresses who I find sexy. And not just in Hollywood, but in totally different cultures too. I must be, like, their target audience, or something.
We should perhaps similarly watch a few modern Bollywood movies, just for the experience. I do like Indian food, so I would like their movies too, right? The local chain movie theater at the mall actually plays new Indian movies along with the standard Hollywood fare, so apparently there are enough Indian immigrants around here for this to be profitable. I don't know if their movie posters are made separately for the western audiences, but they do seem quite similar to Hollywood in spirit and style, so maybe these are not like the Bollywood productions from the seventies. Perhaps there is now a whole new generation of directors and moviemakers working in Bollywood who grew up watching bootleg videos of Hollywood movies, and learned their storytelling and other techniques from there. Perhaps there is even some Bollywood version of Quentin Tarantino, a young and edgy visionary whose breakthrough film, an action drama about a cool gang of bank robbers, revolutionized Bollywood moviemaking since it didn't even feature a single musical number. Maybe we might soon even get to see the hero and heroine kissing onscreen, but the first tits-out might take a while to arrive.
"Deuce Bigalow --- European Gigolo" was pretty much what I expected, although not as funny. I did wonder why the hilarious female client from Chernobyl who had a penis for a nose never appeared in the trailer, though.
Wired article Genetic HIV Resistance Deciphered:
"An estimated 1 percent of people descended from Northern Europeans are virtually immune to AIDS infection, with Swedes the most likely to be protected. One theory suggests that the mutation developed in Scandinavia and moved southward with Viking raiders."
Something tells me the theory is quickly gaining some opposition.
Posted by Anonymous | 10:18 PM
Just as I thought! Big bird came from Australia!
Curtis
dog training
Posted by Anonymous | 11:15 PM