Release the kodiak with fetal alcohol syndrome
A
few posts ago, I wondered why it is considered a hum to mass slaughter
cows for their delicious meat, but doing the same for horses would be
unacceptable. I am sure that there is a clear ethical argument that
divides animals into those that we can eat and those that we can't.
Related to this topic, reading the news from the old country, I can see
that some Finnish restaurant has now come up with the great idea of
turning bears into burgers. Talk about biting your teeth into truly manly red meat!
I sure hope that Harvey's or other major hamburger chain around here soon adopts this idea, putting all those "Big Harv" and "BK Stacker" and other supposedly "manly" burgers in shame. Perhaps this promotion could be built around the theme of "peijaiset", the custom of the ancient Finns of always throwing a lavish party in honor of a bear after killing one, so that the spirit of the slain bear wouldn't return to avenge its death. For the same reason, the Finnish language has quite a few synonyms for the word "karhu" ("bear"), because in the old days, you couldn't say the name of the animal out loud, because that would be tempting the fate by making the bear perhaps hear you calling it, and then it would come to get you and your cows.
Today the man rules the nature instead of the other way around. A few years ago some Finnish blogger (somebody remind me who, and I'll give him proper credit) suggested a great idea that bears should be tamed and domesticated into useful docile barnyard animals the same way that dogs and horses were domesticated in the past, using the techniques depicted in the essay "A fair and balanced fox". Being such a strong and intelligent beast, a domesticated bear would be useful in many tasks by having it do all kinds of hard work. A bear could serve in the roles of both a dog and a horse at the same time. For example, a big strong bear could guard the domiciles against burglars and other intruders, and in a farm it could plow a field like a horse, pulling the plow behind it the same way that it could later pull a sled full of laughing little kids. And I'm pretty sure that even the most hardened and callous criminal would think twice before breaking into a house that sports that common sign that says "I'm guarding here!" but with the snarling face of Smokey looking at you instead of the usual face of a guarddog.
I sure hope that Harvey's or other major hamburger chain around here soon adopts this idea, putting all those "Big Harv" and "BK Stacker" and other supposedly "manly" burgers in shame. Perhaps this promotion could be built around the theme of "peijaiset", the custom of the ancient Finns of always throwing a lavish party in honor of a bear after killing one, so that the spirit of the slain bear wouldn't return to avenge its death. For the same reason, the Finnish language has quite a few synonyms for the word "karhu" ("bear"), because in the old days, you couldn't say the name of the animal out loud, because that would be tempting the fate by making the bear perhaps hear you calling it, and then it would come to get you and your cows.
Today the man rules the nature instead of the other way around. A few years ago some Finnish blogger (somebody remind me who, and I'll give him proper credit) suggested a great idea that bears should be tamed and domesticated into useful docile barnyard animals the same way that dogs and horses were domesticated in the past, using the techniques depicted in the essay "A fair and balanced fox". Being such a strong and intelligent beast, a domesticated bear would be useful in many tasks by having it do all kinds of hard work. A bear could serve in the roles of both a dog and a horse at the same time. For example, a big strong bear could guard the domiciles against burglars and other intruders, and in a farm it could plow a field like a horse, pulling the plow behind it the same way that it could later pull a sled full of laughing little kids. And I'm pretty sure that even the most hardened and callous criminal would think twice before breaking into a house that sports that common sign that says "I'm guarding here!" but with the snarling face of Smokey looking at you instead of the usual face of a guarddog.
Hmm... Horses are herbivores and dogs are comparatively small. A large carnivore is not my idea of a good pet, not even after many generations of breeding.
Posted by Sudif | 11:25 AM
Interesting thing about the euphemisms in Finnish for the word "bear." Apparently that was true of most northern European languages, to the extent that the original word for bear was lost in the Germanic, Celtic, and Slavic languages. The English word "bear" comes from the term "the brown one."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear#Etymology
I should note that "Beowulf," besides being a proper name, is an Anglo-Saxon synonym for bear. It literally translates as "bee wolf."
Posted by Hereward | 11:35 AM
I saw a documentary about a guy who had a couple of pet kodiak bears. The bears were used in movies like Legends of the Fall.
Bart the Bear was his first bear: he has others now.
They seem rather high maintenance to me. Lots of property needed, lots of food to eat. And the cubs were quite playful. I'm not sure they'd do well in Mississauga.
Posted by GMR | 12:17 PM
>bears should be tamed and domesticated
Huh, I think it was my idea but it was sort of a joke. Sort of.
Bears are strong and almost as intelligent as dogs. They can be taught various tasks. In addition, bears could be fed by household waste and spoiled victuals no longer edible to humans; just like pigs.
Some bears actually have been domesticated, i.e dancing bears in Russia. When humans provide feeding opportunities, such as left out garbage, bears themselves are eager to come near to humans. Somehow, taming bears is widely considered unethical.
I was just wondering why is it ethical to keep some tamed animals, but unethical to attempt to tame any new species?
Posted by Jari | 12:25 PM
-- I'm pretty sure that even the most hardened and callous criminal would think twice before breaking into a house that sports that common sign that says "I'm guarding here!" but with the snarling face of Smokey looking at you instead of the usual face of a guarddog. --
Not MY guard dog. He's a Newfoundland:
1) He looks like a small bear;
2) If he takes a dislike to you, he DROOLS on you!
Posted by Francis W. Porretto | 12:26 PM
In rurar Finland, elk hunting groups still have "peijaiset" every year after they have taken down the amount of elk allowed by the hunting license for that year. Usually elk meat soup is served and men get strongly drunk, of course.
Posted by Anonymous | 12:32 PM
http://www.kirja-arvostelut.com/9529089260
Is there a living tax bear organisation in Canada like in Finland?
Posted by Anonymous | 12:40 PM
Have dancing bears been domesticated or tamed? If the animal is domesticated it breeds in capitivity. If it's tamed it lives with humans but if you want more you have to go get more in the wild, like elephants.
Posted by Anonymous | 4:32 PM
Well, actually I don't know. Probably they are more likely tamed, though.
Posted by Jari | 4:58 PM