Tragediary IV

Posted by – January 10, 2010


My phone rings, silently, and I go on sleeping. A bit later someone else’s phone rings, and soon she will be waking me up telling me my mother has died.

First I hear it through earplugs, plus she’s crying, so I don’t really understand anything except that something bad has happened. It takes a couple of times more before I get the message. I don’t have a reaction ready for this – I think I just put my hands on my head and try to get in contact with reality. Seconds ago I was still dreaming.

We get to the hospital to see the body. There’s a smile on her face. A body isn’t that different when it dies – no parts go missing, it’s still all there. Everything just has to be in a very particular arrangement for it to constitute a living person.

Apparently she contracted norovirus yesterday and her condition collapsed rather suddenly and unexpectedly. I was so sure the risk of serious complications had passed, but in fact it was always there. She lived a bit over three months after rupturing an aneurysm in her brain. It was very bad, and she did well to survive the first days. To die now of a normally harmless virus is… well, I don’t know what it is. She was just 58.

We go back to the old house, planning to stay a while. I still don’t have any reasonable emotional reaction to all this. We should probably postpone the wedding.

2 Comments on Tragediary IV

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  1. Jenny Bentley says:

    Sam, it has been a very long time! I have looked for you on Facebbok as i wanted to let you know that i am thinking of you at this time. I also wanted to tell you what wonderful memories i have of your mum and that thinking of her, and of you and Bess makes me smile. I know that nothing i can say can make this time easier but i wanted you to know how much my family and i thought of your mum. your family has been such a big part of my childhood and you are in my thoughts now more than ever,
    With all my love and thoughts, Jenny x


  2. sam says:

    Thanks for the kind words, and hey – thanks for looking me up. It really has been a long time.