A friend of mine suggested that I’m wrong to say I’m socially inept and that it’s really just that I hate people so I don’t make a proper effort to get them to like me. Partly that’s true, but hatred is perhaps not quite right – it’s more like fear-hate. I am eager to get people to like me, but I’m also terrified of everything, which makes me suspicious and withdrawn. I’m so convinced that people don’t like me that I’m automatically resentful of them for it.
I got thinking about this due to the Wikipedia article on Akiba Rubinstein, which says that Rubinstein suffered from “anthropophobia, a fear of people and society.” Maybe that’s what I’ve got! I wonder is there a club for it.
