SH: this archive used to exist elsewhere, but it doesn't anymore, so
I copied it here verbatim.
This is an archive of Ilkka Kokkarinen's web content, deleted
in response to university pressure, copied from Google's cache with no further
modifications. (Yeah, some of the pages' internal links won't work as a
result; if I'm incredibly bored, I may fix that.)
My justification for my actions (and a space for comments) is at this LiveJournal
entry.
Danimal archive:
Sixteen Volts archive:
First two apologies
Final main page
September 2006:
August 2006:
- The happiest place on Earth
- All the way to Santa Monica
- Lucky Ilkka
- First we take Manhattan
- Dog gone funny
- The truth about cats and dogs
- Only the lonely
- Your ideas are noxious to us: the truth about leftism
- Thank you, come again
- Or else
- One more reason for progressives to hate Wal-Mart
- And now, a word from our betters
- The rhinoceros in our living room
- A-mop-bop-a-loo-bop
- Losers downstairs
- Always challenge all your assumptions
- The mediums are the messagi
- Your love is teaching me how to kneel
- Just one little drone in this big hive
- When I grow up, I want to be a car!
- As they say, all generalizations are wrong
- The man in the high castle
- Spider Ilkkasalem and the scum of the land
- Let me entertain you
- You never can tell
- I am the mighty bull, damn yeah
- Full faith and credit
- Beautiful strong girls and grumpy gangster boys
- Let the pepperoni be all one half
- Turn the rainbow into a Jackson Pollock painting
- Falling out
- Two for the money
- If you see it once you'll never be the same again
- Viva Las Vegas, part 3: Devil daycare
- Viva Las Vegas, part 2: Gonna set my soles on fire
- Viva Las Vegas, part 1: Get those steaks up high
- Whoever dwells in the past, poke a stick in his eye
- The lamentations of their women
- About the Middle East, Congo and European misunderstandings
- It's a no-brainer
- Maybe they'll fix these problems in Vista
- Til they're all the same color
- Up and at them
- I heard the news today, oh boy
- The party of proud boylovers
- An afternoon of poetry with Rev. Ilkkamöller
- Drop in, tune out
July 2006:
- One thousand and one nights with Ilkkarazade
- Perhaps you won't even twitch
- Now we shall take off, aim the Russkie between the eyes...
- The era of profit
- There are two types of men in this world...
- Asked out more than Joyce Brothers
- Blinking on the tipping point of Ilkkanomics
- Blue eyes, almost like a human's
- Opportunities and their costs
- Win, draw, lose, turn pennies into millions
- Got to move these colour TV's
- Bang for the buck
- And we'll have ourselves a little mixer
- So if you care to find me, look to the western sky
- Walk down the right back alley in Sin City, and you can find anything
- Spayed and neutered
- Ten years for buggery
- The religion of women
- Wash away all their debts in blood
- Saturday night cantilever
- Two percent is not enough, recruit, recruit, recruit!
- Something to be attacked
- Women and minorities hardest hit
- What if the fetus is a potential zombie?
- The fruits of matriarchy
- It is so very clear and rational to anybody who is not an oppressor
- Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
- Sporty spice
- Actually, it's a peninsula
- Just one shell and governments lose their nerve
- In the long tail, we are all read
- Papa don't preach
- Some people are marching together, some on their own
- Things we should of known
- The mange, the grunge, the itch, the twitch, the thrush, the scroff, the rot
- The song that goes like this
- And the whole world shall be our oyster
- There was a line, there was a formula
- You just keep watching Freddie
- Could stupidity taxes be said to be Pigovian?
- The debate both here and next door
- Conservatism, smart and stupid
- The rich always eat first
- Interest only
- Sheer bedlam
- Keep him off the cart because he's not yet dead
- System scan has revealed that you need a registry cleaner. Install?
- It's the fastest way to send money
- Those beautiful boys and their delicate little holes
- You just learn something new every day
- No man, no problem
- But... but... there is no agreed-upon definition of intelligence!
- White men and officers all of them
- The people, united, will never be defeated
- The men of steel, the men of power, are losing control by the hour
- Guest post: What is wrong with feminism?
- Taking umbrage
- Double or nada on the highjump
- Selective outrage
- Asparagus boys
- Look, it's Rodney Dangerfield fixing the pipes all by himself
June 2006:
- Inbred Jed
- Dancing through life
- One meatsack speaks
- Eliminate men and women will shape up
- The very poorest share their God with their neighbors
- Garbage goblins
- Your eyes are so beautiful, I love you very much
- I'm gonna take you to the bank. To the blood bank!
- Oh, don't be so docudramatic
- Will it be us... or them?
- She had style, she had flair, she was there
- Xtreme Ops
- Look at me, I am a Lew Rockwell paleolibertarian
- Personal is political
- Don't you dare judge us
- I'm no Superman
- Without words, without silence
- Make that extra pineapple, please
- Our vibrant communities
- Dancing around the flower pole
- Just like in Coupling
- The mellow bombthrower
- Know how to please me
- Let's starve it of oxygen
- The mystic knowledge of the ancients, and some other fictions and factions
- Made in China
- Hey, you, watch what you say!
- Watch out for pretty rocks
- Uuno is number one
- Fahrenheit 451
- The mightiest mental machines
- The love that dared not speak its name
- Ikky the lyricist
- Give me a gold medal for my idea
- Die Kühe
- Human seraphim
- Housekeeping
- Everything you think do and say, is in the pill you took today
- In the animal kingdom, the math does you!
- Time to update that Gilbert and Sullivan songbook
- Because somebody should
- Too cheap to meter
- Machines who screw
- Vice city
- Ooh, baby, give it to me
- The praxis of the streets
- For he is not a potted plant
- Those wooden radars, so very inefficient in scanning
- The war liberals
- Law of the jungle
- Huh hah hey, and the tail is wagging
- Yeah, yeah, but which programming language is the best?
- Puny men fight well with their words!
- How's this an idea for a sitcom: Luke and Lance, two gay Jewish guys in New York
- Res ipsa loquitur
- Still pumped up from blogging
- Ignore the market reality at your own peril
- Let's take the red pill all together
- Time to update the sidebar
- Hook me up a new revolution, cause this one is a lie
- Fong! Gong! Self-made!
- I'm on a wavelength far from home
- Dead man's gold
- You just know when you love someone
- Only chaotic evil characters can enter the Lava Level
- Wired or tired?
- Lester Piggot, meet Georgie Best
- One sex rations nookie, the other rations commitment
- I guess somebody forgot the rules of Project Mayhem
- A little bit of mail fraud
- Trading in my jeans for the tracksuit pants
- Bedpans and broomsticks
- I observed it, and its sociological significance intrigued me
- I'm dreaming of a world without fences
- One of these things is not like the others, one of these things does not belong
- Sometimes I feel like the city is sucking away at my soul
- Good servant but a bad master
May 2006:
- But that's just what he says!
- Make a wish
- Freaks and geeks
- He who knows the minds of all
- Nihilism-o-matic
- Red moon rising
- Lean and mean
- Cooling down
- And that's the way the torta crumbles
- Summer is here, Charlie Brown
- I am from beyond!
- There will be plenty of apples in the vending machine
- It's all in the eyes
- True crime
- Those darn nativists
- Demons and angels all in one have arrived
- We should grow some rabbits
- And they beg you for more
- My child only drinks Coke
- Lawyers without borders
- Digg in deeper
- I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it
- So young, you need a word of protection
- Those magnificent men in their flying machines
- To sauna at five, to jail at six
- Educated black man
- Taking the plunger
- Rock'n'roll and other fascisms
- The fudge factors
- Programmed by God
- Just use Concrete instead
- Oh, you crumbums
- A black fly in your Chardonnay
- Can't tolerate this
- For he is a discriminating gentleman
- The F word
- Pip pip, sir
- For I have truly seen the face of evil
- I got the poison, I got the remedy
- I'm feeling smrtr
- It would be as dark as the world before Columbus
- Why we fight
- It's a lot more fun with Phil Decker
- Just living in the moment like a real human being
- Back to the reading corner
- We have forgotten passion, signifying nothing
- Okay. Now, where's Happymart?
- People respond to incentives
- Not that different after all
- Some usability nits that grind my gears
- If you want peace, prepare for war
- Out for some gabagool
- { |x| x(x) }
- Oh, those boys and their toys
- She bootylicious
- Allow four to six weeks for delivery
- These men truly made this country great
- Life is a bunch of things that just happen
- Aaliyah was wrong
- Fungineers, assemble
- Throughly Modern Ilkka
- Static variables
- My car, on the way to this big party
- Slower than a gun
- Ten meters long and reeks of old booze and ciggies
April 2006:
March 2006:
- Ilkka's eye for the straight gal
- Everything you have heard is wrong
- Elsass Lothringen
- You ain't got nothing on me
- The great white whale
- I have lived in the monster
- Domine, quo vadis?
- Earth or Pupulon?
- Anarchy in UK
- I'd like to report a crime in progress
- Elsa the lion
- Strawberries and cream
- Mocking the mockable
- Guys and dolls
- But aren't we all brothers?
- Good thing we didn't become zombies
- Loyal subjects and disloyal objects
- Simulating thoughts
- From far and wide
- Or else
- But it's so unfair!
- Oi, bookworm!
- Nothing in life makes sense except in the light of The Danimal
- Jerry! Jerry!
- Red versus blue
- No hidden catch, no strings attached, just free love
- Double or nada on the highjump
- Every added story takes us closer to objective reality!
- I know I can't be free
- Money can't buy me love
- Up and down
- Pump up and kick ass with Ilkka
- A new universe
- Two for me, none for you
- Grandpa has a magic lap
- It is so very clear and rational to anybody who is not an oppressor
- First pause
- V for Vapid
- I'm dreaming of a green Christmas
- Of butterflies and men
- There's a bird in a tree sitting up high
- But at least everybody is special
- Where I patronize the arts
- Ceuta, Melilla and the avoidance of responsibility
- Lots of words in a sequence
- Knights and knaves
- My body, my choice
- Look at me, I am so moral
- What You See Is Total Crap
- Poster boy
- A few one-paragraph thoughts
- Eggs Ackley strikes again
- Riding the dinosaurs to church
- It even smells like a street
- Encountering the Other
- And the big wheel keep on turning
- Flipping
- Elsewhere, it's always Friday
- Scooby Doo, where are you?
- Friends and false friends
- Red and white all over
- Spearheading the tipping point
- Victory
- Mommy's chick, daddy's...
- I before E except after Ö
- An important message for Generation X
- It's hard out there for a chimp
- Fill your quota, comrade
- The bonfire of charities
- And they all play on the golf course
- And besides, it doesn't always correlate
- But please don't say "weeaboo"
- Hey, let's refer to the band in this song as "we"
- Wild boys always shine
- It's alive
- That is what I'd truly like to be
- Red carpet, red hammer
- The lady's spaying
- Do you think these are opinions you are reading?
- When you wish upon a star
- Little transgressive angels
- Power laws and laws of power
- Do as you are told, dog
- Everybody is special
- Modal schmodal
- No day but today
- Almost anything goes
- I am Tony Soprano, I make you a nice-a pizza
- Simplicity itself
- Funny because it's true
February 2006:
- TV party tonight
- Don't mess with the missionary man
- What dating is really about
- Dis-se-mi-na-ting know-led-ge
- To cut a long story short
- Advice for youth
- A million little pieces of chocolate
- Naughty or nice?
- Working hard, or hardly working
- On the nature of writing
- The real reason why moral dilemmas are popular
- Bridging the two cultures
- Totalitarian blues
- Blink and you might just miss it
- Each story takes us closer to God!
- The propeller beanie kingdom
- Like rats in the night
- Paying the reaper
- Don't be afraid to ask, comrade
- Watch out Spidey, or the Magnetoid will get you!
- The Finimal, part 2
- Listening to the colors of the wind
- Testify, brother
- There are two things we take seriously here
- The iron bars of reality
- They won't wait, they won't rest, they attack continuously
- Everything old is new again
- Caveat pumptor
- Triumph of the whim
- Drink specials at Winners
- But that's just what you say
- And one for the "Big Fat Carnival"
- That's not jewelry she's talking about
- Where everybody is above average
- Black / White
- Kiss kiss gang bang
- Checks and balances
- Do you mow your lawn with a lawnmower, or with prayer?
- Shall be the only law
- Sticking together
- Flies on the ceiling
- Ooh, chocolate half off
- Another movie pitch
- Scream, Blacula, scream
- A proposal for a future Carnival of Godless
- Contingent facts of history
- Alternatives until none exist
- Expect more from Sears
- Singularity, here we come
- Amateur night at the Starbucks
- Icky fat pigs
- Why are you swimming in my wading pool?
- Ilkka Pepys
- See how death comes to the wise as to the foolish
- Who? Whom?
- The very essence
- I'll hire half of the workers to kill the other half
- Proper modesty
- Put another nickel in
- Testify strongly, brother
- Teach the children well
- Mom, is "fellatio" a bad word?
- Smartypants
- Orientation day
- Nihilism-O-Matic
- In a good shape
- A little something from abroad
- The great debate
- Homo ludens
- Pure rubidium
- How to blaspheme
- XFL! XFL!
- Let the punishment fit the thoughtcrime
- The giggle loop
- You have come a long way, baby
- Some elementary marital economics
- You can't argue with the bottom line
- One potato, two potato
- Two minor economic puzzles
- Closed captioned
- I'm very sorry, Mrs. Chomsky, but we have to abort the pregnancy
- Let's twist again
- Tales of the hackneyed demagogue
- Men, those vile beasts and animals
- Great moments in advertising
January 2006:
- A pitch for a reality show
- To fish and sip wine
- Step 2: be a moron
- The objective reality was nice and warm today
- Further rhetorical follies of feminism
- Some rhetorical follies of feminism
- Curiosity killed the cat
- Look at me, I'm so edgy
- Higher learning
- Where I sit and stand
- TV party tonight
- I'm melting, I'm melting
- Drinking the blood of the people
- On personal financial responsibility
- An ode to locks
- Look at me, I'm Napoleon
- Me, my, mine
- The fairer sex strikes again
- Bring me the little children
- I would do anything for $100
- Moustache power to the people
- Sheroes who really make a difference
- Housing and its costs
- Proposal for a drug policy
- The master of time
- The consumption party goes on
- Bring in the clowns
- All that money should belong to me
- Cocooning in the land of a million lakes
- Almost like the Jetsons
- Another contrarian thought
- A movie pitch
- Similibus moronus mordorum
- The tenth black sweater
- Killing one is like killing all of humankind
- A movie contrarian moment
- Paying the Rent
- The n-word
- The bright digital future
- Time to sow, time to reap
- A few linguistic thoughts for the Saturday evening
- Rage against the machine
- Unions and intersections
- So what if polygamy?
- I can walk to Turkmenistan
- Take me to your leader
- Full of black goodness
- But it doesn't always correlate
- Silver screen magic
- A few ponderings of a religious nature
- The genes of tomorrow
- If they die, no loss
- You may already be a winner
- Square holes and round pegs
- Beyond the beyond
- Uncaused causes
- Don't let the ugly flowers bloom
- A few observations about diversity
- A small cure for a big social wrong
- Back to basics
- Just one, officer
- A man and his tool
- Gleaming the cube
- All things just keep getting better
- We're meddlesome
- Watch out, American, the jungle has a million eyes
- Commandments and meta-commandments
- Can we fix it? Yes, we can!
- Two girls for every boy
- Against everything bad, and for everything good
- My suggestion for an immigration reform
- And you do it too!
- So that we may learn
- Mutatis mutandis
- L. Ron Quantum
- There but for the grace of God
- The kingdom of nerds
- Shopping for a better life
December 2005: